MY NAME IS DAVID AND I LOATHE THIS BOOK.
Why? Let me count the ways:
1. The book's message is uniformly nihilistic throughout. Instead of being taught to embrace life in all its infinite variety, the feral, razor-toothed, wolf-child is subjected to a constant stream of negativity and denial from an obviously sadistic disembodied 'authority figure'.
2. Is it not remarkable that there are no other children evident anywhere in this vicious little vignette of cruelty and persecution? Why is this? Well, obviously because Jason, Ethan, Becky and the gang are all hanging out at Jason's crib, watching "Bob the Builder" and scarfing down marshmallow 'n ketchup pizza, because Jason's mom is like totally cool, and a future MILF to boot.
3. And what is it with the kid's teeth anyway? Even feral children deserve a little time with the orthodontist. The crude, ugly caricature of a wolf-child that the author presents here is a hideous calumny with the potential to cause severe emotional damage to Davids throughout the land.
4. It is a complete travesty to think that the single instance of faintly nurturing behavior demonstrated by the Eva Braun authority figure (to someone called "Davey") could possibly negate the damage inflicted by the litany of negativity and denial that precede it.
The dedication on this woeful screed reads as follows
"To Martha, my mother, who kept me in line then,
and to Heidi, my wife, who keeps me in line now."
from which it is obvious that David Shannon is a completely pitiful individual, who has obviously embraced his pathetic, whipped existence.
BUT, FELLOW WARRIOR-DAVIDS, THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO. TAKE THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR, SMEAR IT ALL OVER THIS BOOK, AND THEN FEED IT INTO THE VCR.
And don't forget to check the site www.davidsunitedagainstcaregivercruel... regularly to monitor progress of the class action suit.
eBook No, David!